Observations from facilitating a leadership summit at Lawrence Berkeley Lab last week:
- Most advice we give is advice we need to hear ourselves.
- Most questions we ask to others are questions we want asked of ourselves (or questions we're too afraid to be asked, but need to be).
Most of the time we speak to others we are speaking to ourselves. Saying the words aloud to others we don't say to inwardly to ourselves.
- Giving grace or encouragement to others but not to ourselves.
- Seeing clearly for others that which is hazy for us.
- Giving permission to feel, experiment, try, when our judgment stops us from doing the same.
Which is why most people are terrible at listening - to themselves and others. All that dialogue is noisy. It's easy to jump into action, service, doing.
The simpler, harder step is to start close in - and listen.
PS. Starting close in and listening can be scary. And overwhelming. I'm pretty sure that's why Spelling Bee, Wordle, Connections, Waffle were created - at least those are my go to.
Starting close in and listening so you can move forward is more fun with kind, empathetic, generous friends. I'm excited and honored to be gathering those people to do just that in the No BS Workshop. We're almost at capacity but if you're tired of feeling and being stuck, let me know. You are not alone.