Photo by Afif Ramdhasuma / Unsplash

Very few people are intentional assholes.

Wait, I’m not done. Here’s another bold statement:

People don’t push your buttons.

I say the first statement as a former defense attorney. The second statement as a coach.

Let me explain.

You’ve got buttons. Sore spots, trigger points, internal landmines. They’re based on past hurts, what you were taught as a child, experiences that shaped a narrative.

Most people have no idea what your buttons are. Or even that you have them. Most people are so busy with their own buttons they can’t see yours.

Sometimes you can’t even see your own. But they’re yours. You own them. And you can choose how big - and how small - they get.

  • A velcro target snatching every passing object;
  • A basket attached to your body catching every passing ball;
  • Abullseye on your forehead attracting every arrow shot.

Whatever imagery works for you, you have the power to make that target so small you don’t take other people’s shit personally, or so big you assume other people’s shit is about you not them.

Not saying it’s easy, but it is that simple.

Choice is yours.